Emotions fucking suck. I am soba ice of feeling overwhelmed and insecure. I put on a front that shows That everything is good when I'm a mess. I'm always a mess. Right now I'm bursting with tears but I'm quiet bc Tim is laying right next to me. I think he's asleep. This past day I've had mike on my mind- I had on my mind ; how he died n how he looked at the funeral. For so long I would have flashbacks of that day/night when he was killed. I can't seem to get it out of my head. Lately I've been having nightmares that I was in the house when the break in happened and that I was being shot at too and and I saw him die. One vivid part was me slipping on his blood. I don't know what that means. My heads pounding. This may be why I need to come to peace and closure soon. Maybe church in the am I don't know. Something needs to happen.
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